The Pale Rider

On 18 Feb 2007 08:19:46 -0800, "
wrote:

On Feb 18, 12:22 am, "Steve Cain" wrote:
The boy is sick.

as usual, your prose is beautifully crafted. still, i can't
refrain from voicing my opinion that the narrative itself, the frame
for your imagery, is less defined and confined than it ought to be,
for my taste. not a fatal flaw, certainly; but i kept wondering, as i
read, why this trip? what good does it do the child? why the need
for the artifice of the father talking to a seven month old while the
latter is unconscious?

Because the only time you can really talk to a baby is when it's
unconscious. Otherwise it's all goo goo and gah gah and amusing the
kid. It's not as if they listen when conscious. They interrupt and
burble and have diaper smells and burp and bloop. The very best times
to talk to babies are when they're unconscious.

no matter. as i recognize, and as everyone else has
acknowledged, it is a wonderful, dreamlike collection of images, and
is probably not intended to be more or less than that.

Lovely indeed.
--

r.bc: vixen
Minnow goddess, Speaker to squirrels, willow watcher.
Almost entirely harmless. Really.

http://www.visi.com/~cyli

On Feb 19, 12:19 am, " wrote:
On Feb 18, 12:22 am, "Steve Cain" wrote:

The boy is sick.

as usual, your prose is beautifully crafted. still, i can't
refrain from voicing my opinion that the narrative itself, the frame
for your imagery, is less defined and confined than it ought to be,
for my taste. not a fatal flaw, certainly; but i kept wondering, as i
read, why this trip? what good does it do the child? why the need
for the artifice of the father talking to a seven month old while the
latter is unconscious?

no matter. as i recognize, and as everyone else has
acknowledged, it is a wonderful, dreamlike collection of images, and
is probably not intended to be more or less than that.

Its all about bonding. Did you notice that 'the boy' got a name as the
story progressed? I thought it was lovely and calming.

-riverman

On Feb 18, 11:19 am, " wrote:
On Feb 18, 12:22 am, "Steve Cain" wrote:

The boy is sick.

as usual, your prose is beautifully crafted. still, i can't
refrain from voicing my opinion that the narrative itself, the frame
for your imagery, is less defined and confined than it ought to be,
for my taste. not a fatal flaw, certainly; but i kept wondering, as i
read, why this trip? what good does it do the child? why the need
for the artifice of the father talking to a seven month old while the
latter is unconscious?

no matter. as i recognize, and as everyone else has
acknowledged, it is a wonderful, dreamlike collection of images, and
is probably not intended to be more or less than that.


You're spot on.

I originally intended to tell about the bits of our lives we've played
out along the river as remembered on a gray winter afternoon. As an
experiment, (and because an infant really does consume your life for a
time) instead of narrating to the audience directly, I wanted to
narrate by telling the story to Henry and have the audience listen in.
Because I never really got the time to finish the story the way I
wanted, I tried to cap it in a reasonable fashion. I have my notes for
the longer version, and perhaps when the Henry needs less-than-
constant attention and my job is a little less demanding and I finish
my PE, I'll revisit and rewrite.

Still, thanks to all. I'm glad you enjoyed it. One day, I'll take him
fishing.

Steve

"George Cleveland" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 18 Feb 2007 13:41:45 GMT, "rb608"
wrote:

"Steve Cain" wrote in message
The boy is sick

Thanks.

Joe F.

I agree. Very nice.

g.c.

Me too. Excellent read.
John