New Years Diet

I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.

Frank...........You shouldn't treat these people this way...they can't help
it..they just might start believing you....you should be ashamed of
yourself, taking advantage of people of lesser intelligence. BUT, all
considered, keep up the good work....I own stock in Purina!!
Major Magnetic

"Frank Reid" wrote in message
...
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.


--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

In article
,
Frank Reid writes
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.

When I stop laughing at the image of you sitting in the street
performing your canine ablutions, I shall continue to the next posting
:-)
--
Bill Grey

"W. D. Grey" wrote in message
...
In article
, Frank
Reid writes
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.

When I stop laughing at the image of you sitting in the street performing
your canine ablutions, I shall continue to the next posting :-)
--
Bill Grey

Don't encourage him Bill, he does this same thing every year.

He eats the dog food, sits in the street, licks himself, and ends up in the
hospital! You'd think a man his age would learn better than to lick himself
in the middle of a thoroughfare, and do such on his couch like any
self-respecting, decent human-canine aberant.

Op

On Dec 23, 2:42 pm, "Opus--Mark H. Bowen"
wrote:
"W. D. Grey" wrote in ...

In article
, Frank
Reid writes
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.

When I stop laughing at the image of you sitting in the street performing
your canine ablutions, I shall continue to the next posting :-)
--
Bill Grey

Don't encourage him Bill, he does this same thing every year.

He eats the dog food, sits in the street, licks himself, and ends up in the
hospital! You'd think a man his age would learn better than to lick himself
in the middle of a thoroughfare, and do such on his couch like any
self-respecting, decent human-canine aberant.

Op

In article , Opus--Mark H. Bowen
writes
Don't encourage him Bill, he does this same thing every year.

He eats the dog food, sits in the street, licks himself, and ends up in the
hospital! You'd think a man his age would learn better than to lick himself
in the middle of a thoroughfare, and do such on his couch like any
self-respecting, decent human-canine aberant.

Yeah -It's not so much forgetful; as careless.
--
Bill Grey

On Dec 22, 5:27*pm, Frank Reid wrote:
I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart
andwas in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
Duh? On impulse, I told her no, Iwas starting The Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, becauseI'd ended up in the hospital the
last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before Iawakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both
arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
way it worksis to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or twoevery time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so I wasgoing to try it again. I have to
mention here that practically everyone inline was now enthralled with
my story, particularly a tall guy who wasstanding behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
foodpoisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking
my assand a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was
going to need help as hestaggered to the door laughing.

I tried the diet, worked good. The mrs liked the way I brought the
paper in, chased the cats our ot the yard and slept in front of the
fireplace. I think she missed the missionary position.

I tried the diet, worked good. * The mrs liked the way I brought the
paper in, chased the cats our ot the yard and slept in front of the
fireplace. I think she missed the missionary position.

That and going to work wearing nothing but a collar.
Frank Reid

By the way, I can't claim this one, someone sent it to me saying "it
sounds like you." I don't really know how to take it. Does he mean
it sounds like my writing or did he catch me licking my ass in the
middle of the street?
Frank Reid