OT Pilot Humor

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

Our hero, the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and
I'll have enough parts for another one."

Relations between the Big Iron and Little Guys are usually more
cordial.

I was taxiing out to take off at Greater Pitt when I arrived at an
intersection about the same time as a 737. Not wanting to be
squisssshed, I stopped.

At that moment, an arm came out of the copilot's window of the 737 and
waved me on; and a voice on my radio said, "Go ahead, Cherokee, we
always try to be nice to our Indian friends."

And all airplanes are created equal, according to the FAA. Approaching
Dulles, I was cleared for the approach.

Just then, a voice came on the radio, "Dooles Towaire, thees eees Air
Frawnce 63, landing Dooles."

Another voice came back, "Air France 63, you're number two, behind the
Cherokee."

Made my day!

vince norris

--
Wayne
To Fish is Human...To Release Divine!


In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll
always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt
(my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13
miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other
aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really
control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a
Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed.

'90 knots,' Center replied.

"Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same.

'120 knots,' Center answered.

"We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost
instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, 'Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests
ground speed readout.'

"There was a slight pause, then the response, '525 knots on the ground,
Dusty.'

"As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a
familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It
was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew,
for we were both thinking in unison. 'Center, Aspen 20, you got a
ground speed readout for us?'

"There was a longer than normal pause ....
'Aspen, I show 1,742 knots.'

"No further inquiries were heard on that frequency."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a
request for clearance to Flight Level 600 (60,000ft). The incredulous
controller,
with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to
60,000 feet?"

The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up
to it. We plan to go down to it."

He was cleared.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He
placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator,
"Do you know what I use this for?"

The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"

The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"

The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart
table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?"

"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before
you will."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short
of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned
around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

Our hero, the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and
I'll have enough parts for another one."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing
because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind
a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While
attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your
last known position?"

Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and
returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained
the flight attendant, "And it took us a while to find a new pilot."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."

"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

On Fri, 5 Mar 2004 17:40:04 -0500, "Wayne"
wrote:

--
Wayne
body snipped

LOL! Thank you,

Jim

"Wayne" schrieb im Newsbeitrag
...
SNIP
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"



Very good, had a good laugh at that!

TL
MC

"Wayne" wrote in news:8MGdnU-eU9KQndTdRVn-
:


....snip some good stuff...

Thanks Wayne, now I'll hafta get that book.

Frank Church

*splork*
rinse
repeat.

;-)

Steve

This is the first time I've ever seen someone top-post their sig.

--
Cut "to the chase" for my email address.

On Fri, 5 Mar 2004 17:40:04 -0500, "Wayne"
wrote:



I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite out of all those. The most
memorable a "...down to that." and "...I'll know before you
will."
--

rbc:vixen,Minnow Goddess,Willow Watcher,and all that sort of thing.
Often taunted by trout.
Only a fool would refuse to believe in luck. Only a damn fool would rely on it.

http://www.visi.com/~cyli

"vincent p. norris" wrote in message
...


...I was taxiing out to take off at Greater Pitt when I arrived at an
intersection about the same time as a 737. Not wanting to be
squisssshed, I stopped.

At that moment, an arm came out of the copilot's window of the 737 and
waved me on; and a voice on my radio said, "Go ahead, Cherokee, we
always try to be nice to our Indian friends."

And all airplanes are created equal, according to the FAA. Approaching
Dulles, I was cleared for the approach.

Just then, a voice came on the radio, "Dooles Towaire, thees eees Air
Frawnce 63, landing Dooles."

Another voice came back, "Air France 63, you're number two, behind the
Cherokee."

A week ago I was approaching Dodgeville in a Plymouth Voyager in an early
morning dense fog when suddenly and without warning there appeared a Boeing
377 Stratocruiser about a hundred fifty feet in front of me and apparently
in the middle of the road.

Made my day!

I 'bout messed my britches!

The plane actually sits just off the road in front of a restaurant.....been
there since 1977. I stopped at an information kiosk in town and asked about
it. As luck would have it, the gentlemen there was intimately familiar with
the details. It seems the owner of the restaurant was quite the aviation
buff and could afford to indulge his passion.....he'd been a commercial
pilot in addition to owning the restaurant. The plane, so I was told, was
used in filming a T.V. commercial in which someone dressed in a flight suit
and helmet drove a new car (the product being advertised) out of the cargo
bay of the aircraft. Doffing the helmet and suit, revealed none other than
Farrah Fawcett in a slinky dress or something like that.

The guy at the kiosk took my name and address, promising to send me more
information. A couple of days later a package arrived, containing an 8 page
special edition of the local paper dedicated entirely to the airplane and
related matters, and dated October 20, 1977. Fascinating stuff.

Wolfgang

Wayne
In his book, Sled Driver, SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes

Thanks for the recommendation. Should be an interesting book.

--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
Drowning flies to Dark Star

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm