OT-- I'm sure this is a "snope"...

but I'm passing it along anyway, cause I like it

Scott
*********

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well.


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.



So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

On 12/2/04 1:18 PM, in article
, "Scott Seidman"
wrote:

but I'm passing it along anyway, cause I like it

I do too. But...

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Gonna have to go dig up that Applied Optics issue...

Bill

William Claspy wrote in news:BDD4CD72.5AE2%
:

On 12/2/04 1:18 PM, in article
, "Scott Seidman"
wrote:

but I'm passing it along anyway, cause I like it

I do too. But...

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Gonna have to go dig up that Applied Optics issue...

Bill



I have a friend that published in Irreproducible Results. I think the
paper was called "Cliche Conflicts" or something like that. It was an
investigation on the conflict between "absence makes the heart grows
fonder" and "out of sight, out of mind". I got a chuckle over his function
for distance between two people, and the hinted at ramification of the
limit as x approached zero.

Scott

On 12/2/04 2:36 PM, in article
, "Scott Seidman"
wrote:

William Claspy wrote in news:BDD4CD72.5AE2%
:

On 12/2/04 1:18 PM, in article
, "Scott Seidman"
wrote:

but I'm passing it along anyway, cause I like it

I do too. But...

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Gonna have to go dig up that Applied Optics issue...

Bill



I have a friend that published in Irreproducible Results. I think the
paper was called "Cliche Conflicts" or something like that. It was an
investigation on the conflict between "absence makes the heart grows
fonder" and "out of sight, out of mind". I got a chuckle over his function
for distance between two people, and the hinted at ramification of the
limit as x approached zero.

:-)

Here's a link to the Irreproducible heaven/hell article, which also includes
the short text of the Applied Optics version:

http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/hell.htm

The reference to Applied Optics is a bit vague. But I found it :-) No mean
feat, as it was published in that journal's "A" pages, which are not indexed
in Inspec, and each issue has a page A14. So I had to do it the old
fashioned way. But somebody had to do it :-) It appears in Applied Optics,
v. 11 #8, August, 1972, page A14. Very short and unsigned, and indeed as it
appears on the above page. I *had* to check, because my dad was publishing
in AO during that time period. Might have been him, but I don't think so.

From the stacks,
Bill

Here's a link to the Irreproducible heaven/hell article, which also includes
the short text of the Applied Optics version:

Those interested in pushing back the barriers of ignorance, as
exemplified in the Journal of Irreproducable Results, might enjoy the
book, A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown and other Essays
for an Age of Modern Science, (or some title close to that).

The title essay is illlustrated with several vector diagrams that are
quite instructive.

vince

"vincent p. norris" wrote in message
...
Here's a link to the Irreproducible heaven/hell article, which also
includes
the short text of the Applied Optics version:

Those interested in pushing back the barriers of ignorance, as
exemplified in the Journal of Irreproducable Results, might enjoy the
book, A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown and other Essays
for an Age of Modern Science, (or some title close to that).

The title essay is illlustrated with several vector diagrams that are
quite instructive.

A classic illustration of the little known fact that sometimes you CAN judge
a book by it's cover.

If memory serves, it's actually a collection of articles from the
JIR......sort of a "best of" thingy.

Wolfgang

On 12/3/04 12:22 AM, in article ,
"vincent p. norris" wrote:

Here's a link to the Irreproducible heaven/hell article, which also includes
the short text of the Applied Optics version:

Those interested in pushing back the barriers of ignorance, as
exemplified in the Journal of Irreproducable Results, might enjoy the
book, A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown and other Essays
for an Age of Modern Science, (or some title close to that).

The title essay is illlustrated with several vector diagrams that are
quite instructive.

You see, there are *always* reasons to head back to the stacks!

:-)

Bill

A classic illustration of the little known fact that sometimes you CAN judge
a book by it's cover.

If memory serves, it's actually a collection of articles from the
JIR......sort of a "best of" thingy.

You're right, Wofgang. Although I've learned that my memory is not to
be trusted, I believe the title essay first appeared in a humor mag
published by students in that outstanding engineering school, the
Carnegie Institute of Technology, when I was a student there, circa
1946. It is now known as Carnegie Mellon Univerisy.

vince

The title essay is illlustrated with several vector diagrams that are
quite instructive.

You see, there are *always* reasons to head back to the stacks!

Yeah, Bill, and there are also many interesting volumes on the
anthropology shelves about sexual practices around the world.

vince

On 12/4/04 12:03 AM, in article ,
"vincent p. norris" wrote:

The title essay is illlustrated with several vector diagrams that are
quite instructive.

You see, there are *always* reasons to head back to the stacks!

Yeah, Bill, and there are also many interesting volumes on the
anthropology shelves about sexual practices around the world.

There ARE????

:-)

Bill