They'd leave, but they can't stand the cold.

all material below attributed to Blundo.

Message By Joe Blundo, THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
the illegal immigration.

The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among
left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and
agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to
see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians
crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose
acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When
I
said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my
screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare
Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said.
"The
liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't
give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near
the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across
the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these
people
are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman
said.
"I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a
nice
little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have
been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education
camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
NASCAR.

In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious
ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens
on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
passengers.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,
we
get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon
movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history
majors does
one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, vice
president Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.
And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is
determined to reach out."

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist


--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
When the dawn came up like thunder

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm

On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 00:30:08 GMT, "slenon"
wrote:

all material below attributed to Blundo.

Message By Joe Blundo, THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH


In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, vice
president Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.
And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is
determined to reach out."

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist

So THAT explains it...I wondered about the directive that we could no longer do
things like send the entire Baldwin clan to Canada (or Gitmo), arrange for "The
Simple Life - Nicole and Paris do France," get the IRS to "randomly" select
liberals for aud...er...nevermind...

HTH,
Double-Naught Dickie
....OTOH, maybe HQ didn't understand that we weren't planning that the girls
would actually DO all of France...even we have limits...

On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 00:30:08 GMT, "slenon"
wrote:

all material below attributed to Blundo.

Message By Joe Blundo, THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH


In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, vice
president Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the
administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts.
And we
might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is
determined to reach out."

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist

So THAT explains it...I wondered about the directive that we could no longer do
things like send the entire Baldwin clan to Canada (or Gitmo), arrange for "The
Simple Life - Nicole and Paris do France," get the IRS to "randomly" select
liberals for aud...er...nevermind...

HTH,
Double-Naught Dickie
....OTOH, maybe HQ didn't understand that we weren't planning that the girls
would actually DO all of France...even we have limits...

rdean:
...OTOH, maybe HQ didn't understand that we weren't planning that the girls
would actually DO all of France...even we have limits...

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.
--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
When the dawn came up like thunder

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm

rdean:
...OTOH, maybe HQ didn't understand that we weren't planning that the girls
would actually DO all of France...even we have limits...

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.
--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
When the dawn came up like thunder

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm

On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 02:48:40 GMT, "slenon"
wrote:

rdean:
...OTOH, maybe HQ didn't understand that we weren't planning that the girls
would actually DO all of France...even we have limits...

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.

Oh, when I referred to having "limits," I wasn't thinking of Paris (the person,
not the city), I was thinking of France...I mean, geez, eventually, we might
need it for something...or something...

D-N D

"slenon" wrote in news:cI6wd.120787
:

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.


Not nearly as funny as Cartman's version of the Grinch last night. I
haven't laughed that hard during South Park in quite sometime.

Scott

"slenon" wrote in news:cI6wd.120787
:

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.


Not nearly as funny as Cartman's version of the Grinch last night. I
haven't laughed that hard during South Park in quite sometime.

Scott

"slenon" wrote in news:cI6wd.120787
:

We may have, but Paris hasn't. The recent South Park episode was
hysterical.


Not nearly as funny as Cartman's version of the Grinch last night. I
haven't laughed that hard during South Park in quite sometime.

Scott

Oh, when I referred to having "limits," I wasn't thinking of Paris (the
person,
not the city), I was thinking of France...I mean, geez, eventually, we
might
need it for something...or something...
D-N D

Refuge? Or exile?

--
Stev Lenon 91B20 '68-'69
When the dawn came up like thunder

http://web.tampabay.rr.com/stevglo/i...age92kword.htm