Singed hair and broken eardrums

It's Homecoming here on the campus of the U of I and what a
gorgeous fall day for a football game. The venerable old
stadium was sold out and packed to the rafters with a sea
of orange and one little slice of dark green down in the
southeast corner where the Michigan State Spartan fans
had seats.

I love the pomp and pageantry of college football. The alumni
band took the field first and damn, were those geezers good.
They belted out the classic fight songs, marched in perfect
step and line and formed the traditional "I" at the 50 yard
line with all the precision of years long past. I loved the
old gal twirling the baton. On the wrong side of 50 the old
girl could still bring it with the baton.

Then came today's Marching Illini to do their pre-game show
which always ends with The Star Spangled Banner. Right at
the end of the national anthem, from out of nowhere, two
F-16s came roaring out of the south straight at my head. I
was in the third row of the balcony, the people up in the
30th row must have been looking *DOWN* on those ****ing things.
They shook the **** out of Red Grange's house and damn near
caused me to **** my pants. What, pray tell, is the goddamn
point of that nonsense ?

The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

And the Illini lost and looked like **** doing it. Everything
was going fine until those goddamn Texas jet jockeys showed up.

--
Ken Fortenberry

"Ken Fortenberry" wrote in message
...
It's Homecoming here on the campus of the U of I and what a
gorgeous fall day for a football game. The venerable old
stadium was sold out and packed to the rafters with a sea
of orange and one little slice of dark green down in the
southeast corner where the Michigan State Spartan fans
had seats.

I love the pomp and pageantry of college football. The alumni
band took the field first and damn, were those geezers good.
They belted out the classic fight songs, marched in perfect
step and line and formed the traditional "I" at the 50 yard
line with all the precision of years long past. I loved the
old gal twirling the baton. On the wrong side of 50 the old
girl could still bring it with the baton.

Then came today's Marching Illini to do their pre-game show
which always ends with The Star Spangled Banner. Right at
the end of the national anthem, from out of nowhere, two
F-16s came roaring out of the south straight at my head. I
was in the third row of the balcony, the people up in the
30th row must have been looking *DOWN* on those ****ing things.
They shook the **** out of Red Grange's house and damn near
caused me to **** my pants. What, pray tell, is the goddamn
point of that nonsense ?

The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

And the Illini lost and looked like **** doing it. Everything
was going fine until those goddamn Texas jet jockeys showed up.

--
Ken Fortenberry

They were there to **** off Forti.

On 2009-10-10 16:29:15 -0400, Ken Fortenberry
said:

It's Homecoming here on the campus of the U of I and what a
gorgeous fall day for a football game. The venerable old
stadium was sold out and packed to the rafters with a sea
of orange and one little slice of dark green down in the
southeast corner where the Michigan State Spartan fans
had seats.

I love the pomp and pageantry of college football. The alumni
band took the field first and damn, were those geezers good.
They belted out the classic fight songs, marched in perfect
step and line and formed the traditional "I" at the 50 yard
line with all the precision of years long past. I loved the
old gal twirling the baton. On the wrong side of 50 the old
girl could still bring it with the baton.

Then came today's Marching Illini to do their pre-game show
which always ends with The Star Spangled Banner. Right at
the end of the national anthem, from out of nowhere, two
F-16s came roaring out of the south straight at my head. I
was in the third row of the balcony, the people up in the
30th row must have been looking *DOWN* on those ****ing things.
They shook the **** out of Red Grange's house and damn near
caused me to **** my pants. What, pray tell, is the goddamn
point of that nonsense ?

The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

And the Illini lost and looked like **** doing it. Everything
was going fine until those goddamn Texas jet jockeys showed up.

Bush sent them. Paybacks are hell, eh?

d;o)

The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

Lackland AFB doesn't have a runway. Could be difficult landing those
things there.
Frank Reid

Frank Reid wrote:
The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

Lackland AFB doesn't have a runway. Could be difficult landing those
things there.

Hell, when I saw how close to the ground they were I thought they
were going to land in my yard.

--
Ken Fortenberry

Hell, when I saw how close to the ground they were I thought they
were going to land in my yard.

They make great snow blowers. Could have used them this a.m. We were
supposed to get 1/2" of snow, ended up with over 5".
Frank Reid

Frank Reid wrote:
Hell, when I saw how close to the ground they were I thought they
were going to land in my yard.

They make great snow blowers. Could have used them this a.m. We were
supposed to get 1/2" of snow, ended up with over 5".

No need for a snow blower around here yet, but the next home game
is the Michigan game on Halloween. Maybe you could arrange for the
Air Force to send some F-16s to blow all the leaves on my lawn to
Iowa ? One F-16 would be plenty, two might scare the dog.

--
Ken Fortenberry

No need for a snow blower around here yet, but the next home game
is the Michigan game on Halloween. Maybe you could arrange for the
Air Force to send some F-16s to blow all the leaves on my lawn to
Iowa ? One F-16 would be plenty, two might scare the dog.

For leaves, we have the venerable "Vark Fart." An RF-111
(affectionately named the "Aardvark") can dump fuel and ignite the
cloud of fuel with it its afterburner. Don't really know if there is
a purpose for this other than burning off excess fuel when they have
to dump it. However, I looks cool as hell when a Vark does a
highspeed pass down a runway just after dark with a totally
unsuspecting base population. Think that a 300 X 100 foot flame would
take care of those leaves?
Frank Reid

Frank Reid wrote:
No need for a snow blower around here yet, but the next home game
is the Michigan game on Halloween. Maybe you could arrange for the
Air Force to send some F-16s to blow all the leaves on my lawn to
Iowa ? One F-16 would be plenty, two might scare the dog.

For leaves, we have the venerable "Vark Fart." An RF-111
(affectionately named the "Aardvark") can dump fuel and ignite the
cloud of fuel with it its afterburner. Don't really know if there is
a purpose for this other than burning off excess fuel when they have
to dump it. However, I looks cool as hell when a Vark does a
highspeed pass down a runway just after dark with a totally
unsuspecting base population. Think that a 300 X 100 foot flame would
take care of those leaves?

Yeah, that sounds about right. Tell them to watch out for the
trellis and the hedge.

--
Ken Fortenberry

On Oct 10, 8:17*pm, Ken Fortenberry
wrote:
Frank Reid wrote:
No need for a snow blower around here yet, but the next home game
is the Michigan game on Halloween. Maybe you could arrange for the
Air Force to send some F-16s to blow all the leaves on my lawn to
Iowa ? One F-16 would be plenty, two might scare the dog.

For leaves, we have the venerable "Vark Fart." *An RF-111
(affectionately named the "Aardvark") can dump fuel and ignite the
cloud of fuel with it its afterburner. *Don't really know if there is
a purpose for this other than burning off excess fuel when they have
to dump it. *However, I looks cool as hell when a Vark does a
highspeed pass down a runway just after dark with a totally
unsuspecting base population. *Think that a 300 X 100 foot flame would
take care of those leaves?

Yeah, that sounds about right. Tell them to watch out for the
trellis and the hedge.

Tell your neighbor to wear a hat or he'll not be able to do a comb
over for 6-8 months.
Frank Reid