Singed hair and broken eardrums

It's Homecoming here on the campus of the U of I and what a
gorgeous fall day for a football game. The venerable old
stadium was sold out and packed to the rafters with a sea
of orange and one little slice of dark green down in the
southeast corner where the Michigan State Spartan fans
had seats.

I love the pomp and pageantry of college football. The alumni
band took the field first and damn, were those geezers good.
They belted out the classic fight songs, marched in perfect
step and line and formed the traditional "I" at the 50 yard
line with all the precision of years long past. I loved the
old gal twirling the baton. On the wrong side of 50 the old
girl could still bring it with the baton.

Then came today's Marching Illini to do their pre-game show
which always ends with The Star Spangled Banner. Right at
the end of the national anthem, from out of nowhere, two
F-16s came roaring out of the south straight at my head. I
was in the third row of the balcony, the people up in the
30th row must have been looking *DOWN* on those ****ing things.
They shook the **** out of Red Grange's house and damn near
caused me to **** my pants. What, pray tell, is the goddamn
point of that nonsense ?

The announcer said they were Texas Air National Guard out of
Lackland AFB in Texas. *TEXAS* for chrissake. What in the hell
is a goddamn plane from *TEXAS* doing in central Illinois
singeing my nose hairs and breaking my eardrums ?

And the Illini lost and looked like **** doing it. Everything
was going fine until those goddamn Texas jet jockeys showed up.

--
Ken Fortenberry